Over the last couple of months, I’ve seen the seasonal postings on social media about swimwear.
What is modest; what’s not.
“It’s women’s job to help men refrain from lusting,” or “we shouldn’t have that burden, it’s their issue!”
Opinions varying from: “We are free in Christ, so wear what you want!” to, “Christians need to look like they’re from the 1920s or they’re sinning.”
It stresses me out.
But it has caused me to question myself. As does having a daughter of my own now! What should I teach her? What do I want her to see her mommy wear? I want her to feel confident and not like a weirdo…but the thought of anyone enjoying looking at her body one day, makes me nauseous. I feel like telling her: “Right now you look so adorable running around with your still-baby chubbiness showing…but Sweetie, one day you are going to have to wear a sack to the pool, ok Baby? Ok.”
But I know this is hardly right either.
These bloggers have me trying to figure out what is Truth. God doesn’t give us a dress code in the Bible, so is there really a “right and wrong” to this issue? Is there a blanket rule that we should all follow.
I really don’t think so.
However! I do believe there is a calling on our lives as followers of Jesus.
And I believe that there are some good questions we could ask ourselves. And not just about our swimming attire! Really and truly, these could apply to so many areas of our lives.
I’ve asked the Lord to show me what I should do and exemplify in this area. It seems like a small thing, but I’ve been in some serious turmoil over it. I have more “options” at this point in my life: I’m not under my parents’ roof…not married to a rule-following type of husband…and not pregnant for the first time in over 9 years! Ha!
And ya’ll, let me tell you: If you looked in my beach bag, you would have a great picture of my indecisiveness! I own suitable bathing suits for every occasion: one for family beach trips, one for pool trips with church friends, one that I only wore in Jamaica on our honeymoon, one for other friends who don’t have any major convictions on the issue.
You get the picture.
And it’s ridiculous.
While I do believe we are told to consider those around us, I also believe that we can become too controlled by who we’re around, rather than being lead by Whom we belong to.
You know the conclusion He sweetly brought me to?
(Deep breath!)
It’s not about the bathing suit.
(I think I heard a few of you gasp.)
But before you quit reading, let me continue…
There’s one simple question I try to ask myself in many different scenarios in my life:
“What’s your heart in this?”
The Bible may not give us a 21st century dress code, but it does give us timeless wisdom and some lenses that don’t blur with the centuries. The phrase “…for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,” is in at least a couple of verses, Luke 6:45 being one of them. So if what is in our heart flows from our lips, doesn’t it make sense that our actions – sometimes so subtle, even unconscious – would also come from what is deep in the hidden places of our hearts?
Now I’m going to tell you what the Lord said to me, but you take it to Him yourself. Ask Him to show you your heart. (He does it in such a tender way when we are asking!)
My conclusion that it’s not about the bathing suit, is true. There’s no magic style that looks modest on everyone; we’re all different. I’ve seen 2-pieces that showed some stomach skin, be far less revealing in other more “pertinent locations” than some 1-pieces.
So if that’s true…and it’s about the heart…then maybe what we should ask ourselves in the dressing room is: What am I communicating with this? Am I trying to find a style that looks attractive and flattering for my body type? Or am I trying to attract attention and hope to be flattered?
Another series of question I am trying to get in a better habit of asking myself is:
“How do I die to myself in this situation? How do I represent Jesus? Is there more of me as priority, or more of Him?”
Now this will look different for everyone, I’m sure.
I don’t think that by dressing like social outcasts, we will draw people in.
But we were also told to “be in the world but not of it.” Could this be one of many ways we should be conscious of how we “adorn the Gospel”?
I’m getting in deep, I know. Too deep for my theological training (haha!!). But my point is that what we say, do, – including wear! – says something. It says something about our heart. It says something about who we truly are, and what we want.
So…instead of having fifty-eleven bathing suits for various occasions, I’m going to try them on in front of a mirror when I’m alone. I’m going to ask gut-honest questions about what they say. And if it says “look at me,” I pray – no matter how much I’m in love with the color – that I have the strength to put that one in the trash pile. Wearing something pretty and fashionable is one thing; but wearing something that screams for attention is another.
I know it feels good to have someone stare. I know it gives a temporal feeling of confidence when someone takes a second glance. But girls, we are supposed to be “adorning the doctrine of God our Savior”! (Titus 2)
So what kind of ornament do you want to be?
I want to want in the deepest part of my soul (help me in my weakness, Father!), to be an ornament that does nothing but point to the overall beauty that is the Gospel. Jesus.
I want my message – my speech, my actions, my clothing – to be consistent. I am His everywhere. Do I sound like it? Act like it? Look like it?
I want to be one of those iridescent type of ornaments that you see on beautiful Christmas trees. Not so much by itself, but when you hang it on the majestic tree, it reflects the rich color of it. It merely draws the eye to the existing beauty. It doesn’t distract.
Again, I say this while knowing vividly how much I fall short. I don’t say this in judgment. Only God truly knows our hearts! The same bathing suit on one person may be worn with pure motives, while on another, be worn with pride as ruler. It’s not our job to cast stones. It IS our job, however, to encourage each other toward the Lover of our souls. This matter is no exception.
And yeah, I agree, it’s not “our job” to control whether a man lusts after us. It is his sin to surrender and what kind of bathing suit might not make a difference. Or it might make it much harder. And it will for sure make it harder for him to focus on the real person within, rather than the skin that eventually wrinkles and the youth that eventually sags.
So I urge you, sisters, to take this matter seriously.
Not as another rule to follow, but as those who have received so much grace, that we can live confidently in Him, no longer in need of what this world offers.
Please, simply take this… to heart.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Reminders
We all appreciate a note of encouragement. A reminder that we’re loved. Proof that someone was thinking about us. I was blessed to receive a couple of these recently – from my husband! Talk about making someone’s day!
I found one said note first thing in the morning when I stumbled into the bathroom, eyes half open, to splash some water on my reluctant-to-awake face. I glanced in the mirror, ready to make my regular groan at my reflection, and I saw a note: about how beautiful I am to him. Well…then I really couldn’t see! The tears flowed and I couldn’t wait for him to get home so I could hug him.
The next morning, I had just made it to the kitchen with four children who were all begging for their breakfast. I reached for the coffee pot to make some liquid energy, and discovered another note: this time thanking me for what I do each day. That did it; I probably looked like a crying mop propped up in front of the coffee pot, due to my morning hair and humbled posture.
Later, as I was re-reading the notes and thinking how blessed I was, Jesus whispered something to me: “You know why that means so much to you? You know why those “little” gestures make you feel like you are safe, that you can face anything, that you aren’t alone? Because it is like Me. It’s an earthly picture of what I do for you – all the time. Your husband put those reminders of his love in places he knew you would look; where and at the times it would mean the most to your heart. That’s Me. It’s what I do…you just have to look. What if you hadn’t looked in the mirror? What if you hadn’t made coffee that morning? You would have missed the reminders of his love. Just like if you’re not looking for the reminders of My love all around you, all the time, you’ll miss them. You have to choose to see.”
This was such a beautiful realization. And as I thought about it, it became even more special. See, I know my husband’s handwriting; so I knew the notes were from him. (That and the fact that he’s the only one in my house that can spell yet.) Likewise, if I’m going to recognize my Lord’s “love notes” in my everyday life, I have to know His “handwriting.” I have to include Him in every moment, keep an ongoing conversation with Him, truly abide with Him. And choose: choose to see the beauty, choose to see His working, choose to acknowledge His love. Cause it’s always there. And He’s constantly “writing us notes” to tell us. His desire, delight, protection, provision, guidance and strength are ours.
We just have to look for the reminders.
We all appreciate a note of encouragement. A reminder that we’re loved. Proof that someone was thinking about us. I was blessed to receive a couple of these recently – from my husband! Talk about making someone’s day!
I found one said note first thing in the morning when I stumbled into the bathroom, eyes half open, to splash some water on my reluctant-to-awake face. I glanced in the mirror, ready to make my regular groan at my reflection, and I saw a note: about how beautiful I am to him. Well…then I really couldn’t see! The tears flowed and I couldn’t wait for him to get home so I could hug him.
The next morning, I had just made it to the kitchen with four children who were all begging for their breakfast. I reached for the coffee pot to make some liquid energy, and discovered another note: this time thanking me for what I do each day. That did it; I probably looked like a crying mop propped up in front of the coffee pot, due to my morning hair and humbled posture.
Later, as I was re-reading the notes and thinking how blessed I was, Jesus whispered something to me: “You know why that means so much to you? You know why those “little” gestures make you feel like you are safe, that you can face anything, that you aren’t alone? Because it is like Me. It’s an earthly picture of what I do for you – all the time. Your husband put those reminders of his love in places he knew you would look; where and at the times it would mean the most to your heart. That’s Me. It’s what I do…you just have to look. What if you hadn’t looked in the mirror? What if you hadn’t made coffee that morning? You would have missed the reminders of his love. Just like if you’re not looking for the reminders of My love all around you, all the time, you’ll miss them. You have to choose to see.”
This was such a beautiful realization. And as I thought about it, it became even more special. See, I know my husband’s handwriting; so I knew the notes were from him. (That and the fact that he’s the only one in my house that can spell yet.) Likewise, if I’m going to recognize my Lord’s “love notes” in my everyday life, I have to know His “handwriting.” I have to include Him in every moment, keep an ongoing conversation with Him, truly abide with Him. And choose: choose to see the beauty, choose to see His working, choose to acknowledge His love. Cause it’s always there. And He’s constantly “writing us notes” to tell us. His desire, delight, protection, provision, guidance and strength are ours.
We just have to look for the reminders.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Legos In My Sanctuary
I went to bed last night feeling frustrated over the same thing that frustrates me many nights: the condition of our bedroom. I cynically think of my naive vow as a single girl to "make our bedroom the most beautiful, neat place in the house when I'm married; a sanctuary for us as a couple."
HA!! "That was a nice dream," I think to myself, as I step on Legos and stub my toes on toy trucks - hidden under the bedspread my two year old pulled half-way off the bed. I look tiredly at the laundry basket full of clean socks to be matched. I divert my eyes only to see the overflowing hamper with clothes to be washed. With a sigh I decide sleep is a better way of dealing with this mess at midnight, and pull the covers over my head. After all, the little munchkins whose laundry takes precedence and whose endless trail of toys cause my bruised feet, will be up in a few short hours, at best.
Today I was reading another chapter in a book I began (at least three months ago): Francis Chan's book, "Forgotten God." It's about our neglect of the Holy Spirit in our lives as Believers; an issue that weighs heavily on my heart these days and something I'm praying for Him to change in my life.
One passage stood out at me as I read, and brought to mind my lamenting from last night:
"But consider this truly amazing fact: Because the Spirit is holy and dwells in us, our bodies are holy sanctuaries from God's vantage point. Too often we disdain our bodies as the source of sin and fallenness; yet they are precisely where God the Spirit chooses to dwell!"
Goodness! So...it's Who and what takes place in us that makes us holy. Not what "else" is there. And it's a good thing! Because my heart is often a jumbled, messy, unsightly place! It's never going to be a sanctuary on its own, not even on my best day and after a "thorough cleaning"; cause I'll just quickly mess it up again. But because of the choice God makes to dwell there, it IS holy. His beauty outshines the "clutter," like the pure, bright whiteness of snow on a sunny day blinds our eyes.
Now maybe it's far-fetched to make a comparison of this to our messy bedroom. But if nothing else, it gives me a daily reminder of the Sanctuary I need to be most concerned about. I'm so easily distracted with cleaning up the appearance - of my room, my house, my self. When what matters is what goes on there, who lives there, and what is on the inside, respectively.
Our bedroom is where my babies like to play - this hardly defiles the space. What is "clutter" to me, is the scattered pieces of what was their creative, imaginary world at a particular moment. Or the results of an incredible football play or superhero battle - not exactly good reason to be frustrated.
No, the bed is rarely made. The walls need paint touch-ups and decor. But this doesn't hinder us from loving each other well. It doesn't keep romance from happening. And it doesn't inhibit our desire for each other. It may not be a sanctuary in terms of appearance - but appearance is not what creates a sanctuary.
Sure, I still want our room to be pretty and laundry-free. I want toys to be in their designated places in the play room. But tonight, when I find a matchbox car under the covers, I can laugh and remember that it doesn't alter what matters. Just like (thankfully) God is not afraid of the "clutter" in my heart. It's the fact that He lives there that makes it holy. And it's the fact that my husband and I share this room and love - and the little ones that ransack it - that makes it our sanctuary.
Toys and all.
HA!! "That was a nice dream," I think to myself, as I step on Legos and stub my toes on toy trucks - hidden under the bedspread my two year old pulled half-way off the bed. I look tiredly at the laundry basket full of clean socks to be matched. I divert my eyes only to see the overflowing hamper with clothes to be washed. With a sigh I decide sleep is a better way of dealing with this mess at midnight, and pull the covers over my head. After all, the little munchkins whose laundry takes precedence and whose endless trail of toys cause my bruised feet, will be up in a few short hours, at best.
Today I was reading another chapter in a book I began (at least three months ago): Francis Chan's book, "Forgotten God." It's about our neglect of the Holy Spirit in our lives as Believers; an issue that weighs heavily on my heart these days and something I'm praying for Him to change in my life.
One passage stood out at me as I read, and brought to mind my lamenting from last night:
"But consider this truly amazing fact: Because the Spirit is holy and dwells in us, our bodies are holy sanctuaries from God's vantage point. Too often we disdain our bodies as the source of sin and fallenness; yet they are precisely where God the Spirit chooses to dwell!"
Goodness! So...it's Who and what takes place in us that makes us holy. Not what "else" is there. And it's a good thing! Because my heart is often a jumbled, messy, unsightly place! It's never going to be a sanctuary on its own, not even on my best day and after a "thorough cleaning"; cause I'll just quickly mess it up again. But because of the choice God makes to dwell there, it IS holy. His beauty outshines the "clutter," like the pure, bright whiteness of snow on a sunny day blinds our eyes.
Now maybe it's far-fetched to make a comparison of this to our messy bedroom. But if nothing else, it gives me a daily reminder of the Sanctuary I need to be most concerned about. I'm so easily distracted with cleaning up the appearance - of my room, my house, my self. When what matters is what goes on there, who lives there, and what is on the inside, respectively.
Our bedroom is where my babies like to play - this hardly defiles the space. What is "clutter" to me, is the scattered pieces of what was their creative, imaginary world at a particular moment. Or the results of an incredible football play or superhero battle - not exactly good reason to be frustrated.
No, the bed is rarely made. The walls need paint touch-ups and decor. But this doesn't hinder us from loving each other well. It doesn't keep romance from happening. And it doesn't inhibit our desire for each other. It may not be a sanctuary in terms of appearance - but appearance is not what creates a sanctuary.
Sure, I still want our room to be pretty and laundry-free. I want toys to be in their designated places in the play room. But tonight, when I find a matchbox car under the covers, I can laugh and remember that it doesn't alter what matters. Just like (thankfully) God is not afraid of the "clutter" in my heart. It's the fact that He lives there that makes it holy. And it's the fact that my husband and I share this room and love - and the little ones that ransack it - that makes it our sanctuary.
Toys and all.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Not Mine
Not just "follow Me" - "TAKE UP YOUR CROSS....and follow Me."
And the word we often forget (that I think is key): "Take up your cross DAILY and follow Me."
It's one of those Scriptures that says so much in such few words. But each little word holds much weight.
What is our cross? What does our "daily" look like? And most importantly, do we feel burdened by this passage because we're forgetting that the second command in it ("follow Me") is also an incredible privilege?
It's not an easy task; not fun. Criminals were often forced to carry their own cross to what end? Death. They were forced to carry the very thing they would die on.
This isn't one of Jesus' most pleasant metaphors, to say the least. Dying to our self is an agonizing process. We fight it instinctually. We're rather fond of Self. But the verse following, says: "...but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."
Last night at our small group meeting was one of those times where God convicted, comforted, revealed, shocked, and loved me...all at the same time. My heart was completely overwhelmed. I knew if I tried to talk I wouldn't be able to; I'm not one of those people who can talk and cry at the same time. I don't know why I thought I could pray aloud either -- I sounded like a blubbering frog.
The day had been the final straw on the structured mess I had been building in my heart without even realizing it. And it all came crashing down. I heard others talking and sharing as if from a distance. All I could do was cry because I knew - I KNEW - it was my Father speaking directly to my heart.
Just the other day I made a comment to a friend on Facebook about the phase of life we are both in and the challenges it holds. I surprised myself with what I typed, as it was so revealing of my heart. And I haven't been able to forget it. I said "I'm realizing my life is not my own." Now really, as a mother of four children, should I just be realizing this?! And how selfish it sounds! But sadly, it's true. And it goes deeper than that...
My life is not my own...nor is it going to play out the way I've always pictured.
I've always wanted children; but I want to be super-mom and for it to be easy to do everything I want to do and be.
I've prayed and waited for my husband since I was 12 (maybe a slight exaggeration...but not much); and though he is perfect for me and I love him more than I can describe, marriage isn't a fairy tale. It is beautiful, but not always pretty.
I always planned to have my daddy here to enjoy his grandchildren and to continue to be the encourager and source of wisdom, comfort and fun that he'd always been; but he's gone.
The latter was what hit me hardest last night - because I thought I had "dealt with that." I thought I had moved to the next phase and let go of the anger in my heart over the fact that He went Home before it was (my) time. But I haven't. God showed me clearly that deep down I am still holding that against Him. I'm still struggling to completely trust Him, the telling symptom being that I'm fighting fear more than ever. The result: I'm living on the edge of a complete meltdown. It doesn't take much - just another small instance of my expectations not being fulfilled - and I'm a pathetic mess.
"My life is not my own." Not my own to control, predict, or live easily. I am told to die to myself. If I were truly doing that, would I be holding onto anger at my unmet expectations? No, because it's not my life.
Would I be feeling fear on a regular basis? No, because the One whose life mine is, is worthy of my trust. Would I be clinging to my day-to-day activities being/looking the perfect way? No, because my daily dying should trump any other activity or wishes.
This is hard to admit. I have never considered myself to be as selfish as what I am seeing in my heart right now. I see a little child wanting what she wants, when she wants it...and screaming when she doesn't get it. And I'm supposed to be raising children who (outwardly) do this?! Some role model I am!
But even as I think and write this, I hear Him whisper "there's grace." I know what I must do - what I've been doing since last night and will, I'm sure, have to continue: repent. Thankfully, there's a huge "ocean of grace," as my husband reminded us, waiting on the other side of repentance.
It's painful, but it's comforting at the same time. I want to be at the place of willingly losing my life...in order to find it. The Life I'm meant to live. Not the one where it looks the way I want it to look, do everything I want to do, be everything I want to be...but the one where Jesus truly is King.
I told my husband yesterday (in a dramatic moment of desperation) that I am dying inside. Well...good. That's a start. Ok, not the way I meant it right then, but "dying" is indeed the beginning...
But it can't stop there. That cross is nothing more than a hindrance and a burden if we don't follow Him. He promises that His "yoke is easy" and His "burden is light." So does that not mean that if we are following Him with our daily cross - losing our life to find it - that the weight is lightened? That if we stop fighting for control and looking for contentment elsewhere, we will find relief and unspeakable joy in the Life He gives?
I think so. And we can say with excitement and freedom, "this life is not my own!"
And the word we often forget (that I think is key): "Take up your cross DAILY and follow Me."
It's one of those Scriptures that says so much in such few words. But each little word holds much weight.
What is our cross? What does our "daily" look like? And most importantly, do we feel burdened by this passage because we're forgetting that the second command in it ("follow Me") is also an incredible privilege?
It's not an easy task; not fun. Criminals were often forced to carry their own cross to what end? Death. They were forced to carry the very thing they would die on.
This isn't one of Jesus' most pleasant metaphors, to say the least. Dying to our self is an agonizing process. We fight it instinctually. We're rather fond of Self. But the verse following, says: "...but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."
Last night at our small group meeting was one of those times where God convicted, comforted, revealed, shocked, and loved me...all at the same time. My heart was completely overwhelmed. I knew if I tried to talk I wouldn't be able to; I'm not one of those people who can talk and cry at the same time. I don't know why I thought I could pray aloud either -- I sounded like a blubbering frog.
The day had been the final straw on the structured mess I had been building in my heart without even realizing it. And it all came crashing down. I heard others talking and sharing as if from a distance. All I could do was cry because I knew - I KNEW - it was my Father speaking directly to my heart.
Just the other day I made a comment to a friend on Facebook about the phase of life we are both in and the challenges it holds. I surprised myself with what I typed, as it was so revealing of my heart. And I haven't been able to forget it. I said "I'm realizing my life is not my own." Now really, as a mother of four children, should I just be realizing this?! And how selfish it sounds! But sadly, it's true. And it goes deeper than that...
My life is not my own...nor is it going to play out the way I've always pictured.
I've always wanted children; but I want to be super-mom and for it to be easy to do everything I want to do and be.
I've prayed and waited for my husband since I was 12 (maybe a slight exaggeration...but not much); and though he is perfect for me and I love him more than I can describe, marriage isn't a fairy tale. It is beautiful, but not always pretty.
I always planned to have my daddy here to enjoy his grandchildren and to continue to be the encourager and source of wisdom, comfort and fun that he'd always been; but he's gone.
The latter was what hit me hardest last night - because I thought I had "dealt with that." I thought I had moved to the next phase and let go of the anger in my heart over the fact that He went Home before it was (my) time. But I haven't. God showed me clearly that deep down I am still holding that against Him. I'm still struggling to completely trust Him, the telling symptom being that I'm fighting fear more than ever. The result: I'm living on the edge of a complete meltdown. It doesn't take much - just another small instance of my expectations not being fulfilled - and I'm a pathetic mess.
"My life is not my own." Not my own to control, predict, or live easily. I am told to die to myself. If I were truly doing that, would I be holding onto anger at my unmet expectations? No, because it's not my life.
Would I be feeling fear on a regular basis? No, because the One whose life mine is, is worthy of my trust. Would I be clinging to my day-to-day activities being/looking the perfect way? No, because my daily dying should trump any other activity or wishes.
This is hard to admit. I have never considered myself to be as selfish as what I am seeing in my heart right now. I see a little child wanting what she wants, when she wants it...and screaming when she doesn't get it. And I'm supposed to be raising children who (outwardly) do this?! Some role model I am!
But even as I think and write this, I hear Him whisper "there's grace." I know what I must do - what I've been doing since last night and will, I'm sure, have to continue: repent. Thankfully, there's a huge "ocean of grace," as my husband reminded us, waiting on the other side of repentance.
It's painful, but it's comforting at the same time. I want to be at the place of willingly losing my life...in order to find it. The Life I'm meant to live. Not the one where it looks the way I want it to look, do everything I want to do, be everything I want to be...but the one where Jesus truly is King.
I told my husband yesterday (in a dramatic moment of desperation) that I am dying inside. Well...good. That's a start. Ok, not the way I meant it right then, but "dying" is indeed the beginning...
But it can't stop there. That cross is nothing more than a hindrance and a burden if we don't follow Him. He promises that His "yoke is easy" and His "burden is light." So does that not mean that if we are following Him with our daily cross - losing our life to find it - that the weight is lightened? That if we stop fighting for control and looking for contentment elsewhere, we will find relief and unspeakable joy in the Life He gives?
I think so. And we can say with excitement and freedom, "this life is not my own!"
Friday, October 18, 2013
What Do I Know
As dangerous at it is, I've been thinking again...
This time I was considering the type of people who feel like they have it figured out. Whatever "it" is. You know the type: If they do it, it's right. If they say it, it's correct. If they think it, you need to hear it. We typically aren't most attracted to these people. Unless we don't like to ever have an original thought, they are not usually our "BFFs."
However, as I reflect on this type of people, I realized something. Something horrible. Something that was a serious blow to my pride. Ready for it? Okay...here it is: I can be that person. In my passion about an issue, decision or conviction, I can be that person who - whether I verbalize it or not - thinks I have it all figured out. And I know how I arrive there, too. It's (generally) out of good motivation; therefore the pride creeps in unannounced. Maybe it's a choice I have made due to information I have come across at a certain time. Maybe it's a decision my husband and I have made for the good of our family, at a particular time. Maybe it's something that God has personally convicted me about or directed me to do. All "good," "pure" motives, right? Yes. To begin with. The sin comes when I start to think, talk and/or behave like I know what is best for everyone else. And, to take it a step further, when I deep down, in the hidden places of my heart, believe I am BETTER than those who don't do it my way. Yes, there are some issues where there may truly be a right and wrong way. People's hearts may genuinely be in the wrong place; their motives not good. But who am I to judge?! Who am I to even know that?!
While we are called to show grace to one another in the Body, loving and "showing preference" to one another, what concerns me most about this habit of pridefulness is that as a follower of Jesus, I am called to point others to Him. If I am the kind of person who acts as though I have it all (or at least some of it) figured out, am I going to turn away those who don't know my Savior before I even get a chance to introduce them to Him? If I focus on things that, at the end of the day, don't matter compared to eternity - i.e., health, schooling, politics (yes, I included that last one) - will I be "tuned out" by those I come into contact with before I have an opportunity to address the only issue that really matters? THE Way, THE Truth, THE Life...?
Isaiah 5:21 says, "Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and prudent and shrewd in their own sight!" I wonder if this is one of the reasons that is in the Bible. One more reason we need to get our self-righteous eyes off ourselves and focus them on Jesus. And those who desperately need to know Him. The one thing that there is ultimately only one right "answer" to, should be what we think, speak and act most passionately about: Jesus. The One Who gave us "authority over the serpents and scorpions and every power of the enemy..." (Luke 10:19)
He and His blood are all we can rightly claim. His work is our only boast.
This time I was considering the type of people who feel like they have it figured out. Whatever "it" is. You know the type: If they do it, it's right. If they say it, it's correct. If they think it, you need to hear it. We typically aren't most attracted to these people. Unless we don't like to ever have an original thought, they are not usually our "BFFs."
However, as I reflect on this type of people, I realized something. Something horrible. Something that was a serious blow to my pride. Ready for it? Okay...here it is: I can be that person. In my passion about an issue, decision or conviction, I can be that person who - whether I verbalize it or not - thinks I have it all figured out. And I know how I arrive there, too. It's (generally) out of good motivation; therefore the pride creeps in unannounced. Maybe it's a choice I have made due to information I have come across at a certain time. Maybe it's a decision my husband and I have made for the good of our family, at a particular time. Maybe it's something that God has personally convicted me about or directed me to do. All "good," "pure" motives, right? Yes. To begin with. The sin comes when I start to think, talk and/or behave like I know what is best for everyone else. And, to take it a step further, when I deep down, in the hidden places of my heart, believe I am BETTER than those who don't do it my way. Yes, there are some issues where there may truly be a right and wrong way. People's hearts may genuinely be in the wrong place; their motives not good. But who am I to judge?! Who am I to even know that?!
While we are called to show grace to one another in the Body, loving and "showing preference" to one another, what concerns me most about this habit of pridefulness is that as a follower of Jesus, I am called to point others to Him. If I am the kind of person who acts as though I have it all (or at least some of it) figured out, am I going to turn away those who don't know my Savior before I even get a chance to introduce them to Him? If I focus on things that, at the end of the day, don't matter compared to eternity - i.e., health, schooling, politics (yes, I included that last one) - will I be "tuned out" by those I come into contact with before I have an opportunity to address the only issue that really matters? THE Way, THE Truth, THE Life...?
Isaiah 5:21 says, "Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and prudent and shrewd in their own sight!" I wonder if this is one of the reasons that is in the Bible. One more reason we need to get our self-righteous eyes off ourselves and focus them on Jesus. And those who desperately need to know Him. The one thing that there is ultimately only one right "answer" to, should be what we think, speak and act most passionately about: Jesus. The One Who gave us "authority over the serpents and scorpions and every power of the enemy..." (Luke 10:19)
He and His blood are all we can rightly claim. His work is our only boast.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Deeper
There I told you, “You’ve made it to the Amorite hill country that God, our God, is giving us. Look, God, your God, has placed this land as a gift before you. Go ahead and take it now. God, the God-of-Your-Fathers, promised it to you. Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose heart.”
22 But then you all came to me and said, “Let’s send some men on ahead to scout out the land for us and bring back a report on the best route to take and the kinds of towns we can expect to find.”
23-25 That seemed like a good idea to me, so I picked twelve men, one from each tribe. They set out, climbing through the hills. They came to the Eshcol Valley and looked it over. They took samples of the produce of the land and brought them back to us, saying, “It’s a good land that God, our God, is giving us!”
26-28 But then you weren’t willing to go up. You rebelled against God, your God’s plain word. You complained in your tents: “God hates us. He hauled us out of Egypt in order to dump us among the Amorites—a death sentence for sure! How can we go up? We’re trapped in a dead end. Our brothers took all the wind out of our sails, telling us, ‘The people are bigger and stronger than we are; their cities are huge, their defenses massive—we even saw Anakite giants there!’”
29-33 I tried to relieve your fears: “Don’t be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; he’s fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what he did for you in Egypt; you saw what he did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries his child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you’re here, you won’t trust God, your God—this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go.”
34-36 When God heard what you said, he exploded in anger. He swore, “Not a single person of this evil generation is going to get so much as a look at the good land that I promised to give to your parents. Not one—except for Caleb son of Jephunneh. He’ll see it. I’ll give him and his descendants the land he walked on because he was all for following God, heart and soul.”
41 You spoke up, “We’ve sinned against God. We’ll go up and fight, following all the orders that God, our God, has commanded.” You took your weapons and dressed for battle—you thought it would be so easy going into those hills!
42 But God told me, “Tell them, ‘Don’t do it; don’t go up to fight—I’m not with you in this. Your enemies will waste you.’”
43-46 I told you but you wouldn’t listen. You rebelled at the plain word of God. You threw out your chests and strutted into the hills. And those Amorites, who had lived in those hills all their lives, swarmed all over you like a hive of bees, chasing you from Seir all the way to Hormah, a stinging defeat. You came back and wept in the presence of God, but he didn’t pay a bit of attention to you; God didn’t give you the time of day. You stayed there in Kadesh a long time, about as long as you had stayed there earlier.
~~~~~~~~~~
I read this story from the first chapter of Deuteronomy this morning. Its so rich. So full of lessons. What struck me most was not only the faithlessness of the Israelites (which isn't really a new occurrence, right?!) but the picture we see of God. He had, as it says, basically "carried" them the whole way. Providing for their every need. I don't know about you, but if God literally gave me a cloud to follow during the day and a fire at night, food that fell from the sky - heck, just the fact that he gave a rather cowardly man the ability to help me and my people escape slavery - I think I would have the faith to accept the land He promised me and not let the last hurdle stand in my way of finally resting and enjoying life in my new home that we had finally reached after HOW many years?!
I SAY that anyway...
Moses even reminded the people of God's provision and faithfulness. Didn't work. They were afraid. They whined and complained and out-and-out refused to go. So Moses had to talk to God and relay His message to the people.
I feel kind of sorry for Moses at this point. He had to feel like an older sibling left in charge while the parents are away. Upon their return and discovery of a major disaster that happened while in his care, he gets an earful. The younger ones are punished for their crime, but he gets double: he's held responsible.
So no one (of age) gets to see the promised land now. Except Caleb. He's the good kid. The one that always tries to get everyone to obey and get along. He's exempt from the punishment because apparently his heart was to follow God, even though those around him didn't. So he is rewarded.
After hearing this, suddenly the Israelites take it all back - nothing like getting something taken from you (while someone else gets to keep it), to make you realize how wrong you are and fill you with courage to obey!
But it was too late. God had given them their last chance. Obviously their hearts weren't to follow Him, just to get what they wanted, and God was done. He wanted to bless them, but I believe He mainly wanted their trust. Their hearts. And they just wanted the blessings. He told them to forget it, not to go in and fight now, that they wouldn't win - because they were on their own.
And guess what?! They didn't listen to this either! They "threw out their chests and strutted into the hills." I'm sorry, but this image makes me laugh: stubborn pride personified!
The ending is tragic though. They lost the battle (imagine that!) and still thought they could come back and beg for mercy from God. After he told them to go; and they refused. He took away their blessing; so they decided to go. He told them it was too late, not to go; and they went anyway, like they could demand back what God had taken from them. It makes my head spin!
They were left to wander around in the dessert the rest of their lives, it sounds like. Talk about depressing!
But this shows us such a vivid picture of our God. He wants to bless us. Longs for our trust. Our hearts. He's a loving Father, who enjoys giving us good things. But He cares more about our souls and our knowing Him. He showed both His tender care and love and His power and holiness in this same story.
I don't know about you, but there's a lot of lessons here for me. It makes me want to fear, know and love Him deeper.
So much deeper...
22 But then you all came to me and said, “Let’s send some men on ahead to scout out the land for us and bring back a report on the best route to take and the kinds of towns we can expect to find.”
23-25 That seemed like a good idea to me, so I picked twelve men, one from each tribe. They set out, climbing through the hills. They came to the Eshcol Valley and looked it over. They took samples of the produce of the land and brought them back to us, saying, “It’s a good land that God, our God, is giving us!”
26-28 But then you weren’t willing to go up. You rebelled against God, your God’s plain word. You complained in your tents: “God hates us. He hauled us out of Egypt in order to dump us among the Amorites—a death sentence for sure! How can we go up? We’re trapped in a dead end. Our brothers took all the wind out of our sails, telling us, ‘The people are bigger and stronger than we are; their cities are huge, their defenses massive—we even saw Anakite giants there!’”
29-33 I tried to relieve your fears: “Don’t be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; he’s fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what he did for you in Egypt; you saw what he did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries his child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you’re here, you won’t trust God, your God—this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go.”
34-36 When God heard what you said, he exploded in anger. He swore, “Not a single person of this evil generation is going to get so much as a look at the good land that I promised to give to your parents. Not one—except for Caleb son of Jephunneh. He’ll see it. I’ll give him and his descendants the land he walked on because he was all for following God, heart and soul.”
41 You spoke up, “We’ve sinned against God. We’ll go up and fight, following all the orders that God, our God, has commanded.” You took your weapons and dressed for battle—you thought it would be so easy going into those hills!
42 But God told me, “Tell them, ‘Don’t do it; don’t go up to fight—I’m not with you in this. Your enemies will waste you.’”
43-46 I told you but you wouldn’t listen. You rebelled at the plain word of God. You threw out your chests and strutted into the hills. And those Amorites, who had lived in those hills all their lives, swarmed all over you like a hive of bees, chasing you from Seir all the way to Hormah, a stinging defeat. You came back and wept in the presence of God, but he didn’t pay a bit of attention to you; God didn’t give you the time of day. You stayed there in Kadesh a long time, about as long as you had stayed there earlier.
~~~~~~~~~~
I read this story from the first chapter of Deuteronomy this morning. Its so rich. So full of lessons. What struck me most was not only the faithlessness of the Israelites (which isn't really a new occurrence, right?!) but the picture we see of God. He had, as it says, basically "carried" them the whole way. Providing for their every need. I don't know about you, but if God literally gave me a cloud to follow during the day and a fire at night, food that fell from the sky - heck, just the fact that he gave a rather cowardly man the ability to help me and my people escape slavery - I think I would have the faith to accept the land He promised me and not let the last hurdle stand in my way of finally resting and enjoying life in my new home that we had finally reached after HOW many years?!
I SAY that anyway...
Moses even reminded the people of God's provision and faithfulness. Didn't work. They were afraid. They whined and complained and out-and-out refused to go. So Moses had to talk to God and relay His message to the people.
I feel kind of sorry for Moses at this point. He had to feel like an older sibling left in charge while the parents are away. Upon their return and discovery of a major disaster that happened while in his care, he gets an earful. The younger ones are punished for their crime, but he gets double: he's held responsible.
So no one (of age) gets to see the promised land now. Except Caleb. He's the good kid. The one that always tries to get everyone to obey and get along. He's exempt from the punishment because apparently his heart was to follow God, even though those around him didn't. So he is rewarded.
After hearing this, suddenly the Israelites take it all back - nothing like getting something taken from you (while someone else gets to keep it), to make you realize how wrong you are and fill you with courage to obey!
But it was too late. God had given them their last chance. Obviously their hearts weren't to follow Him, just to get what they wanted, and God was done. He wanted to bless them, but I believe He mainly wanted their trust. Their hearts. And they just wanted the blessings. He told them to forget it, not to go in and fight now, that they wouldn't win - because they were on their own.
And guess what?! They didn't listen to this either! They "threw out their chests and strutted into the hills." I'm sorry, but this image makes me laugh: stubborn pride personified!
The ending is tragic though. They lost the battle (imagine that!) and still thought they could come back and beg for mercy from God. After he told them to go; and they refused. He took away their blessing; so they decided to go. He told them it was too late, not to go; and they went anyway, like they could demand back what God had taken from them. It makes my head spin!
They were left to wander around in the dessert the rest of their lives, it sounds like. Talk about depressing!
But this shows us such a vivid picture of our God. He wants to bless us. Longs for our trust. Our hearts. He's a loving Father, who enjoys giving us good things. But He cares more about our souls and our knowing Him. He showed both His tender care and love and His power and holiness in this same story.
I don't know about you, but there's a lot of lessons here for me. It makes me want to fear, know and love Him deeper.
So much deeper...
Thursday, August 1, 2013
"Song"
I find myself
Living in the memories
Maybe because at least you were there...
The pain washes over
Too real to bear...
Darkness is welcome
But just brings more fear...
~~~~~~
(Chorus)
Most times I feel
An invisible force,
Always behind me,
A gun to my head,
Whispering
Keep going,
Don't fall apart.
Keep walking,
Or all will be lost.
Keep going....
Keep walking...
Keep...breathing...
~~~~
I try to move on
And try to believe
The lie that says time will heal...
But all I do
Is spend all I am
To clothe myself in "okay"
To convince even myself...
~~~~
If moving on means
That days keep passing by
All surely is well...
But if I should know
How to erase and live with
The pain in my heart
And in others' eyes
Then I'm failing miserably
~~~~
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